Reflections on Parenting…from a Mom of 6!
Some musings on my journey as a parent...
When I embarked on parenthood, I felt like I was stepping into the unknown with inadequate preparation. What I was certain of, though, was the abundance of love, care, and an unwavering desire to ensure the safety and well-being of my little ones. The challenge lay in figuring out how to navigate this intricate journey of parenting, especially with six children in tow.
I started this adventure at 25, a time when I was still figuring out how to take care of myself, let alone be a thriving, self-supporting individual. The complexities increased with each new addition, compounded by the demands of a strong-willed husband with established ideas. In many ways, I felt like a child myself, and I found solace in adopting his approach as he took the lead in setting the "rules" for our family values, morals, and structure. While I learned valuable lessons that resonated with me, I now recognize instances where I felt uncomfortable but lacked the confidence, experience, and security to assert myself as a woman and a mother. Regrettably, due to my hesitancy, my children didn't have a mother who stood up for herself, especially in dealings with their father.
Though I've since grown stronger and more confident, this journey handicapped my ability to be fully present with my six children. Often, I struggled to balance understanding how to show up for myself amidst confusion and fear, feeling that I never quite got it right.
In all honesty, I wasn't prepared for the challenges of parenting at that time, and I regretfully acknowledge taking on such a daunting responsibility unprepared. We're all on a journey of awakening, learning to be conscious, responsible adults to contribute positively to the world and care for our planet. Reflecting on my own upbringing, I realize how a healthy, supportive environment with tools for conscious awakening would have made a world of difference.
For years, I've dedicated myself to a path of conscious awakening, reclaiming and honoring myself, understanding my nature and truth, including acknowledging and loving the parts where I felt like a failure, especially as a parent.
As I sit here today, I grieve the inability to share the wisdom and experience I now possess with my children when they were young. It's a poignant aspect of the evolution of parenting—beginning where we are and learning as we go, without a manual. Fortunately, today there are more resources and shared wisdom available, a blessing as the evolution of consciousness unfolds. My own evolution, influenced by my lineage, continues as we, as a human community, strive for a semblance of heaven on earth.
In conclusion, here are the practices I am embracing today with my children:
Being honest first with myself
Understanding and holding my boundaries
Noticing my emotions when enforcing boundaries (guilt, fear, etc.) and compassionately staying present with those parts of myself
Giving when I am ready, not solely based on what my mind suggests
Listening more and speaking less
Answering questions when asked
Cultivating humility over righteousness
Being mindful of my ego's desire to insert opinions and choosing silence instead
Sharing my true creative nature
Asking numerous questions to understand their perspectives, feelings, and thoughts
Engaging in play, having fun, and cherishing our limited time together